Conflict. It’s the one part of professional life most of us would happily skip – but it’s also one of the most crucial areas for growth, influence, and authentic leadership.
That was the focus of our recent live session with Women in PR, where our coach Becky shared powerful insights, tools, and mindsets for navigating conflict with clarity and grace.
Here’s a roundup of the key takeaways from the session.
Conflict Is Not a Formula – But There Are Tools
Becky opened the session with a refreshing reframe: unlike writing a report or filming a video, conflict isn’t something you can perfect with a second draft.
It’s messy, emotional, and subjective. But there is a way to navigate it more skillfully. That’s where structure and mindset come in.
The Golden Ground Rule: Influence, Not Control
Becky reminded us of a liberating truth: you can’t control how someone else behaves – but you can influence how a conversation unfolds.
Respectful questions tend to land better than accusations. Curiosity disarms defensiveness.
Your role is to show up as well as possible, and let go of the rest.
Spot the Mindset Before You Speak
Our mindset shows up in every tone, gesture, and word. Becky referenced a beautiful line from Rumi:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”
In conflict, it’s tempting to cling to right/wrong thinking.
But when we do that, we stop listening. We stop learning.
Instead, Becky encouraged us to step into that “field” – the shared space of curiosity and collaboration.
Unhelpful Perspectives to Watch For
Using the Serlin Method, Becky identified two common unhelpful mindsets:
“I’m Right / You’re Wrong”
Marked by directive language, closed body language, and unwillingness to hear the other side.
“I’m Wrong / You’re Right”
Often a symptom of fear or people-pleasing – marked by apologising, shrinking back, and staying silent.
Neither leads to productive outcomes.
The goal? To move into a third, balanced space – the “field” – where both perspectives can be explored.
The Three Tools: Observe, Share, Curious
This powerful trio forms the heart of conflict navigation in our Serlin Method.
1. I Observe
Describe facts without judgment.
Replace “You were rude” with “You interrupted and left before I finished.”
Numbers help. For example how many delays, how many messages, how many errors.
Example from the session:
“I’ve chased three times since Monday without an update; the delay blocks Task B.”
2. I Share
Own your experience.
Use feelings, experiences, and values to express the impact without blame.
“That landed as dismissive. I value mutual respect and collaboration.”
Avoid emotionally loaded phrasing; instead, invite understanding. If someone responds with, “Sorry you feel that way,” try:
“I appreciate you may not have intended that. Do you see where I’m coming from?”
3. I’m Curious
Empathy + questions + reflection.
Dig beneath the surface to understand pressures, values, and blockers. Ask:
- “What’s behind this decision?”
- “How do you see it?”
- “What might help us move forward?”
Digital Communication: A Blessing and a Trap
One attendee asked whether it’s easier to handle conflict over email or message.
Becky’s take? It’s a mixed bag.
Yes, digital channels offer time to reflect and refine – but they also lack tone, nuance, and body language.
In other words: don’t hide behind the screen. Use email where helpful, but be ready to show up live when it matters.
Final Takeaways: Practice in Low-Stakes Moments
The best way to build this muscle? Use it in day-to-day moments – team check-ins, difficult emails, even at home.
So when the stakes are high, these tools are second nature.
Interested In Learning More About Navigating Conflict?
Explore our navigating conflict course at London Speech Workshop here.
Or why not reach out to our team with your questions here.
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